After the ongoing and prolonged experience of being stalked, harassed and having your home invaded, an intense feeling of being violated to the core of my being began to emerge with all its suffering, pain and psychological consequences. Having to live in fear on a daily basis slowly deteriorates a sense of self. Symptoms akin to PTSD are perhaps a common response to being violated over and over again. It was difficult to fall asleep or to concentrate on the most basic tasks of daily life. Physical symptoms such as rapid heart beat and sky high blood pressure likewise attested to the enormous psychological stressors I was experiencing as a result of these human violations.
It became increasingly more difficult to leave my home – encountering street theater became commonplace while outside. It was difficult for me to comprehend what was happening here and how people would be so cruel as to enjoy hurting a vulnerable person who already struggles daily to live as a sight impaired person in a world created by and for sighted people.
“Why won’t they just talk to me instead?” was a question I asked frequently – why would anyone deliberately choose to hurt another human being like this…. I had no answers, of course.
The psychological and emotional wounding of prolonged and repeated violations occurring from harassment and stalking run deep – complete recovery and healing may not be possible. To restore a secure sense of self and move through the world without anxiety and fear may never be possible again.
Because of the covert nature inherent to acts performed by group stalkers and because most people have a difficult time to comprehend that any person would elect to hurt others in such covert ways, it is extremely difficult for the victim to convince others to believe them and to help. Feelings of powerlessness and helplessness are a result of failed attempts to get help from friends and family members. Life itself becomes almost unreal because the victim is also unable to understand how anyone would intentionally harm others in such ways and unbearable.